Apparently there are still some people who believe that horoscopes are legitimate. I’d like to sell each of them a share in the Brooklyn bridge (and direct them to some of our science articles here on TNW). But now is definitely not the time to be pissing off potential readers. So I’m meeting them halfway instead.

I made OpenAI’s GPT-2 (one of the world’s most advanced AI-powered text generators) spit out horoscopes for all 12 zodiac signs. Accomplishing this was actually quite easy. I went to the Talk To Transformer website where programmer Adam King maintains an interactive version of GPT-2 and entered “What is my horoscope for” prompts for each sign.

It works like this:

GPT-2 isn’t always coherent. In the video above it’s generating nonsense and gibberish. And that’s why, when I was generating the horoscopes below, I was tempted to just keep smashing the “generate another” button until something funny, clever, or shocking came out. But, since literally anything GPT-2 spits out will be equally as accurate as any human-generated horoscope, I decided it would be a waste of everyone’s time to do that.

Instead, what you’re about to see are twelve completely unedited “horoscopes,” generated by entering the same “What is my horoscope for” prompt for each zodiac sign. The only time I pressed the “generate” button more than once was for Cancer, and that’s because it spit out some morbid stuff about disease that didn’t seem appropriate right now.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy this stupid horoscope made by smart AI.

Scorpio:

Aries:

Author’s note: You’ll notice in the quote below that this is a horoscope for Pisces despite the fact I asked it for Aries. Apparently, if you’re an Aries, the AI‘s advice is to become a Pisces instead.

Leo:

Author’s note: In the above quote, GPT-2 followed “Yours Sincerely” with a Twitter username that actually appears to belong to a real person. We purposely omitted it from this article, but thought it was noteworthy enough to mention.

Cancer:

Pisces

Taurus

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Gemini

Virgo

Libra

Aquarius

Sorry about that last one. Evidently being an Aquarius involves a lengthy acceptance process. On the bright side, at least you’re not an Aries right? They don’t even get a horoscope this week. Let us know what you think about GPT-2’s Zodiac prowess in the comments.